This week I did one thing that felt probably a bit batshit loopy and stayed, by myself, in a treehouse within the woods. I do know. The one who will get spooked in her personal backyard.
It’s testomony to only how desperately I wanted to take away myself from all noise and distraction (impending deadline that I nonetheless can’t discuss) that I ventured out into the wilds alone, risking potential Blair Witch Challenge-style situations and with solely a small pair of nail scissors and a laptop computer charging cable (makeshift garrote) for defense. As somebody who barricades their resort door from the within, even when there’s a reception desk two flooring down and a twenty-four hour concierge, I can’t fairly imagine that I willingly took myself off to the wilderness.
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However look; I’ve made all of this sound a bit creepy. Clear your minds of the Blair Witch stuff, it was only a little bit of drama for the intro, for this treehouse, one of many Skylark Treehouses at KIP hideaways, was simply some of the phenomenally stress-free, superbly secluded locations that I’ve ever stayed. Wherever.
If you happen to crave solitude, if you happen to lengthy for the sound of birdsong and the rustling of the bushes, neglect the resort break: two nights right here, with the out of doors bathtub and the on-deck hearth pit and the key walkway that weaves by the woods…two nights right here and it’s as if you’ve had some form of thoughts and soul reset. Three nights and also you neglect that there’s the rest on the market, on the earth. You understand if you simply have completely nothing to do? And there’s nothing you can do? So that you simply develop into kind of inert, as if you’re operating on standby mode somewhat than really switched on?
That’s how Skylark made me really feel. And keep in mind, please, that it made me really feel like this regardless of the very fact I used to be knocking out 4 thousand phrases a day on my laptop computer, mainlining natural tea and solely sometimes getting as much as have a shake and a stretch. In precise reality it was the right place to plough by my wordcount for the deadline-I-can’t-mention-yet as a result of it was simply so fully, superbly silent.
And although half of the treehouse was completely open-air, together with a tremendous – very photogenic – out of doors kitchen and the aforementioned bathtub and deck, the bed room and bathe room have been absolutely enclosed in a hyper-insulated, hermetically-sealed pod. Big home windows in every single place, large comfortable mattress, however a correct protected little (absolutely lockable) hotel-style room with a kitchenette (tea, espresso, oven) and massive walk-in bathe in addition to one of many best-placed bits of toilet glazing I’ve seen, excessive up on the wall in order that it framed the bushes exterior however retained complete privateness.
On the privateness factor: there are different treehouses (six homes altogether) however they’re fairly far aside. On arrival, my coronary heart did sink after I heard the faint, dulcet tones of another person’s kids (as a result of who desires to listen to different individuals’s kids after they’re making an attempt to loosen up?) however after I leaned proper out to try to spot them and maybe scare them off with an evil glare the treehouse they have been in, my nearest neighbour, was actually fairly distant. In reality you’ll be able to inform how distant each is as a result of the parking areas on the lane, two for every home, are effectively spaced-out.
Right here’s the way it goes: you arrive to Skylark Treehouses through the doorway lane after which the parking for every treehouse is signposted with slightly emblem. (They ship you all the information by e-mail earlier than you arrive.) Every little automobile park has an electrical charging level, which is massively helpful if you happen to’re an electrical car-haver and wish to recharge while you keep. (I’m a brand new electrical car-haver and nonetheless getting used to the truth that you’ll be able to’t simply pull into any previous petrol station and refill; having a charger at your vacation spot simply appears to be the last word, world-changing comfort at this level in my life. Extra thrilling, I believe, than even an outside bathtub.)
A personal walkway takes you down, Swallows and Amazons type, to the doorway of your treehouse (which is lockable, and lit) and the door opens onto essentially the most beautiful little out of doors camp, excessive up within the bushes, completely non-public and with a roof over the residing bits in order that it may be always in use. After I say camp, that is nothing like tenting; it’s tenting, I suppose, for these (hiya!) who love the odor of the outside and like being surrounded by nature however who don’t wish to get trench foot and must be inside ten metres of a completely flushing rest room always. It seems to be like the agricultural treehouse/tenting idyll, although a model of it you’d discover in Vogue, nevertheless it acts like a luxurious resort. The entire greatest supplies, costly home equipment, a bin with buttons to open and shut (God how simply happy am I?) and that sensible, show-stopping out of doors tub. With solely the cows within the subject to witness your soak.
There’s a woodburner contained in the sleeping suite, in addition to radiators, so I’m fairly certain this place can be toasty as something within the wintery months, however in summer season it’s doorways thrown large open and out of doors hearth pit on, only for the atmosphere, if you happen to fancy it. I didn’t, as a result of I used to be there by myself and I’m an everlasting catastrophiser and imagined myself by accident setting hearth to my very own hair and never having anybody to assist put it out. Nonetheless, it was good sitting there and listening to the near-silence, as soon as the birds had gone to sleep. With my Brixham Harbour fish pie, one of many ready-to-oven freshly-made meals the individuals at Skylark can ship to your treehouse in your arrival. It was scrumptious. And massively welcome as I’d determined upfront that I didn’t wish to should prepare dinner, as a result of it will have been simply one other distraction, and so it saved me from consuming muesli for dinner three nights in a row.
So to recap: you need absolute peace and quiet. You need the posh really feel and a focus to element {that a} resort may give, however you need one thing extra secluded and personal. You like the thought of a camp-style break however desire a good mattress, full plumbing and no sense of damp. You need the ever-Instagrammable “bathtub beneath the celebrities” however don’t wish to hear one other soul while you lie in it and – lastly – you wish to benefit from the open air however really feel protected and safe.
Bingo! I don’t suppose anybody would remorse a few nights right here for a complete reset. What I preferred most was their very stern guidelines contract that you simply needed to comply with and signal, promising to not make noise and to respect different visitors. Bloody sensible. You actually do really feel as if you’re the one visitors there – and it was absolutely booked on the nights that I stayed.
Costs? From £250 per night time. Perhaps barely greater than you’d anticipate if you happen to went “glamping”, however this positively will not be glamping. It’s a full resort suite that’s fully non-public, with the good thing about an enormous out of doors area that can be utilized all yr spherical. (There’s heating above the eating desk and the entire area is considerately lit.) It’s nowhere close to as costly as a luxurious resort suite however that’s what I’d examine it to; though the supplies contained in the sealed sleeping space have been left fairly rustic and pure, simply one of many many eco-measures right here, the fixtures and fittings have been of the best high quality and no expense had been spared.
Had I not stayed alone, I genuinely suppose that it will have been tough to ever depart. In precise reality, I booked one other night time on the tip of my two night time evaluate keep, so I believe that claims all of it. The mad factor was, I didn’t even enterprise out of the treehouse. I couldn’t let you know what was half a mile in any route, even an eighth of a mile. I simply wrote and wrote and wrote. In my escape pod. Which is precisely what it was.
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